Lemonade & Loathing Read online

As I changed, I glanced out the window. It had long since gone fully dark, but I could see that the windows were dry. I hoped they’d remain so. It had smelled of rain all day long, but it often did during the fall on the Oregon Coast. I was pretty sure it had drizzled once or twice over the course of the day, but it hadn’t lasted long enough to build up into a true storm.

  Unlike my semi-normal, fully covered in black self, Zee was covered head-to-toe in black and grey camouflage. Once you added her black combat boots, a black knit beanie on her white hair, and a black scarf big enough to cover her face, she looked like she was about to join the marines in attacking some drug lord’s fortress.

  I laughed as I looked her over and then said, “If we run across someone, I will look goth, and you will look like a criminal.”

  Zee smirked and said, “But think of the look on Carver’s face when he picks me up from the police station.”

  “Is this stage one of your revenge?”

  “One of one hundred.”

  “Is one hundred another kitten?”

  “That’s 11, 72, and 99,” she laughed. “We’ve agreed that he doesn’t have to get rid of the dogs and he can never, ever, comment on my cats.”

  “Including incoming cats?”

  “He should have known that incoming cats were included. If he didn’t figure it out, he will.”

  I started my car and headed towards Maddie’s to pick up both Jane and Maddie. The resort had gates to keep out the non-members, but Zee had already figured that out. Of course, she knew someone working there, and she’d manipulated the code for the employee entrance out of the poor kid. I didn’t know who it was, but I knew they’d crumpled in the face of Zee which is exactly what I’d have done as well.

  As soon as Maddie and Jane got in the car, Zee asked, “Did you do it yet?”

  “No,” Jane snapped. “Let’s do this, not get arrested, and maybe get me drunk enough that I have the courage to do it.”

  “Maybe you should do it over a weekend when Zee takes the boys,” I suggested. I had to admit I’d been thinking about it for a while. I was pretty sure that’s what I would do.

  “Not a bad plan,” Maddie said. “That way he can rage at you and cool down before you get the boys again.”

  I pulled my car into the restaurant area. We simply walked into the resort, past the restaurant, and down the path to the gardens. Zee had directions on her phone on how to get through as long as we looked like we belonged. We didn’t of course. Zee looked crazy. Jane and Maddie were in dark clothes, but they looked like that was simply how they dressed. The security guard who saw Zee, however, met her gaze, paled, and turned away.

  After that, we faded into the gardens, and I led the way. The resort had turned off the path lights, probably to keep guests away from the crime scene without advertising they had a crime scene. It was a clever enough move, but I didn’t want to give the general manager, Monica any credit.

  I passed by the rose gardens where I’d thought to have my wedding before finding the body and meeting Monica. From there, we made our way down the path towards the maze. It was only half-grown but still super spooky in the dark. At the entrance to the maze, the resort had put up a stanchion and gold cord with a sign that said, No Entrance. We simple stepped around it. I supposed it would keep anyone reasonable out, but Zee wasn’t reasonable, and I wasn’t sure I was either.

  The way through the maze was more difficult in the dark and at each cross roads, I had to dig through my memory to recall what had worked. Near the center, I stopped at another crossroad and considered. My friends were quiet as I tried to recall which way to go, so we were able to hear the sniffling sound. I’d heard enough people crying into their hands that I grabbed my friends, and we tip-toed through the last piece of the maze. There, in the shadows at the center, just by where the fountain was circled in police tape stood a woman in a pin-striped suit.

  “Shut the front door,” I muttered, staring down Monica—the general manager of the resort.

  She screamed as she spun around and then demanded, “What are you doing here? Trespassing again? I’ll call the police and press charges.”

  Zee scoffed as I smiled at Monica and then said, “I think the real question the police will have is why a woman is crying over the death site of their recent murder victim. Maybe you should call the police, Zee.”

  Monica stepped back and then pulled out her phone.

  “It’s a game of police calling chicken,” Zee laughed flashing her own phone in her hand.

  “Try me,” Monica said.

  Zee’s reply was to pull up Carver on her phone and make the call.

  He answered almost immediately on speaker, “Babe, I’m about to crush Simon here. What’s going on. If you’re drunk with Rose, I’ll come get you after.”

  While Zee talked, I considered the fact that the police would be here soon and wouldn’t let me see jack. I debated for a second and then bypassed Monica to check out the murder scene. There was grass all the way up to the fountain, but there wasn’t any sign that the grass had been disturbed. No furrows showing a body had been dragged through it. No signs of feet digging into the lawn, fighting for their life and creating burrows.

  “You didn’t call the police,” Monica said. “Get out before I do.”

  “Oh I did,” Zee said blithely, “The sheriff won’t get to be irritated by my outfit if he doesn’t see it.”

  “What are you doing Zee?” Carver asked sharply, suddenly alert.

  “She doesn’t know who you are, Zee darling,” Maddie answered brightly. She backed up and took a seat on one of the stone benches, crossing her legs.

  “Who is she?” Monica demanded. “That’s not how the police answer the phone.”

  “Zapphirah what have you done?” Carver demanded.

  “Oooh,” Jane said to Maddie, “He pulled out the full name. Someone is in trouble.”

  “I don’t think that Simon will be as undemanding as Carver,” Maddie told Jane. “Carver, we were bad.”

  He cursed and then demanded, “Where are you?”

  “The resort,” Zee said. “We found—”

  Simon cursed, and I realized that both phones were on speaker. His curse was echoed by a full string of curses as there was the sound of something crashing.

  “Hey now,” someone said in the backroom. “That’s our game.”

  “The game’s over, dolt,” Carver snapped. “The girls are causing trouble again.”

  A couple of guys moaned in the background, and I flinched a little bit. Our adventure wasn’t supposed to mess with their game. I should have known better the second I saw Zee show up in her ridiculous outfit. Knowing Zee and Carver, this was their way of teasing each other.

  “Don’t touch anything, Rose,” Simon ordered.

  “I just wanted to look around,” I said innocently but his irritated reply told me that he didn’t buy it. I flinched a little bit. I knew he loved me, but I could tell by his tone, he wanted to strangle me a little bit.

  The call ended and I rose up on my toes to see if there were any signs of flood or I don’t know…a convenient blunt instrument, but if I didn’t know someone had died here, I wouldn’t have been able to tell by looking.

  “Don’t worry, Zee,” Maddie said gently, “Carver will be understanding.”

  She snorted in reply and I said, “I don’t think understanding is the word for how Carver will feel. Or Simon for that matter.”

  “It’s because you talked about being a baby mama. He’s trying to curb your crazy before you are actually carrying his baby. Or maybe start the slow down.” Jane said, “It’s man science.”

  “It’s not like I want to be involved in all these murder cases,” I protested, but even I didn’t believe myself.

  Monica’s rude snort said even strangers didn’t buy my personal nonsense.

  “Says the woman trespassing while she gets involved in another case,” Maddie laughed.

  “She does have a point, Rose honey,”
Simon said. I spun around, shocked to see him already.

  “Joey’s house is on this road,” he said when he saw the look on my face. His gaze moved past me to Monica and he said, “What’s going on here?”

  “Trespassers,” Monica said. “I demand that you arrest them.”

  “We found her crying here, staring at the fountain,” I told him.

  Simon’s brows rose at that and he turned to Monica.

  “Who are you going to believe? The clear criminal or the person who has the right to be here?”

  “Seeing as how I told you myself to stay away from this place, I don’t really see you as an innocent victim,” Simon said. He was almost gentle which was a classic Simon move. He made you think that he was on your side, but he wasn’t. He was always, always, on the side of the victim. Even if the victim was scum like Danny.

  Monica’s gaze narrowed like a shark finding prey and then she said, “The resort will sue you for harassment.”

  “They’re free to do so,” Simon said, calmly. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have to answer my questions. Over there you four,” he said to me and my friends, sending us to the back of the area where two stone benches were side by side.

  He put Monica on the bench nearest and then re-evaluated the scene. Before he was done, Carver and several uniformed men showed up.

  “Take them in,” Carver said, scowling at the four of us.

  Maddie and Jane sputtered while Zee laughed in his face. I glanced at Simon to see his reaction and could see his lips twitching.

  “It’s your funeral,” I told Carver turning for the poor policeman who had to put cuffs on me.

  Bobby flinched as he snapped the cuffs around my wrists, but I had just given his wife a baby shower, and I could see him thinking of all the times he’d have to face me after this. Such a gentle man shouldn’t really be a police officer. But maybe Bobby could be more aggressive if he wasn’t fond of you?

  “I’m sorry, Rose,” Bobby said, low enough that Carver and Simon couldn’t hear me. “I—”

  “Don’t worry your pretty little head over it,” Zee snarled. “We know who needs to pay here.”

  “You!” Carver shouted. “What if the killer were here, Zee? What if you and your antics got your friends hurt? Or killed. This isn’t a joke! Whoever killed Danny could hurt you too!”

  Simon’s gaze fixed on my own and I saw worry in it. I flinched. I shouldn’t have come here. Not without telling him. I knew far too well what happened when a killer realized you were on to them and was willing to kill to stay out of jail. You ended up handcuffed to an ancient radiator in a house that was on fire. You spent months recovering. You expected to never, ever see the face of the person you loved again.

  “Bobby,” I told the uniformed cop, “I need a minute with Simon, please.”

  Bobby looked over his shoulder and then back at me, “I…Rose…look, I don’t want to be involved in your quarrel, and he’s my boss.”

  “I’m going to stand right here, and you go over there and say that I’d like him to walk me to the car. That’s all. It’ll be ok. I promise.”

  His partner had already put cuffs on Maddie and Jane, but neither of the cops wanted to approach Zee, and I didn’t blame them a bit. She probably knitted with their moms or babysat them or slept with their boss. Definitely that last one.

  “Carver,” I called feeling a flash of pity for both Jonas and Bobby. “You know you’re gonna have to do Zee yourself. It’s not fair to these boys to not man-up.”

  “God bless you, Rose,” Jonas said under his breath.

  Zee snorted at that and Carver narrowed his gaze on the group of us. Then he stalked over to Zee and took her by the arm. I noted that not even Carver was willing to put handcuffs on her and laughed while Bobby’s partner, Jonas, took Maddie and Jane by a bicep and started towards the police cars.

  I cleared my throat and Bobby crossed to Simon, telling him what I’d said. The look he shot me told me he wasn’t happy with me. I sent him a pleading one of my own, and could see him sigh. But he left Bobby and made his way to me. He was gentle, of course, when he took me by the arm.

  “If she presses charges, you might be in jail overnight,” he said. He didn’t sound sad about that at all.

  “Make sure you give my babies extra snuggles then,” I told him. He sighed again and I said, “I shouldn't have come here.”

  “You shouldn’t have,” he agreed with his fingers rubbing my bicep comfortingly.

  “I didn’t think it would be dangerous until I saw how upset Carver was.” I knew it didn’t change the fact that I hadn’t told Simon what I was up to.

  “I don’t want to find you dying again, Rose. I don’t want to lose you.”

  I wanted to tell him he wouldn’t. But I’d been in that house while it was on fire. I’d faced the reality that I would never see him again, and the mere memory of it hurt me still. Even though I’d survived, I had lost a lot in that moment. The belief that things would be ok. That belief that good always won. It had then, but I’d been lucky.

  I pulled myself to a stop and turned into him, dropping my forehead against his chest because I couldn’t hug him. “Paige asked me to look into this. Her niece Melody was dating Danny. Paige is afraid you’ll realize Melody was his significant other and has a big fat motive.”

  “Is that what she said?”

  “No, but that’s the truth. Melody was dating Danny. Danny was sleeping with her best friend, Lettie Parker Delancey. But here’s the thing, Lettie and Melody met him while they were working on Lettie’s wedding.”

  He grunted and then said, “So, the best friend is another of the brides he got to?”

  “She cried in the diner today about how he was gone. She thought that he was dating Melody as a cover for cheating with her. Lettie didn’t realize that Melody and Danny were really dating. Let alone talking marriage. And, she didn’t know that she was one of a string of brides before I told her. Or at least she pretended not to know that.”

  “He was a piece of work,” Simon muttered. He dropped a kiss on my forehead and said, “You still have to got to the station.”

  “I don’t care,” I told him honestly.

  “Lettie wasn’t the only bride. Flora from that flower table listed others. Danny got around working as an extra hand for a lot of those wedding vendors.”

  “Thank you for telling me,” Simon said.

  “Plus Monica was crying when we found her. She was crying over his death site, Simon. She has to be linked to him somehow.”

  I rubbed my face into his chest, breathing him in for a moment before I laughed and said, “Zee isn’t nearly as nice as me. Carver is in trouble.”

  “No she’s not,” Simon agreed as he tugged me into moving again.

  “But she wanted him to catch her. She called him herself. It was part of whatever she’s up to,” I told Simon. “Which tells me she’s either testing him, or they’re weirder than we could ever want to know.”

  I had no desire to know if they were playing some sort of game together, but I knew Zee relished—if nothing else—torturing Carver.

  “Probably both,” Simon said, “Let us never speak of it again.”

  I was still laughing when he put me in the back of the police car. It wasn’t lost on me that Carver and Zee were no where to be seen. It also wasn’t lost on me that there wasn’t room for Zee. It also wasn’t lost on Jonas who took off with a look of sheer, unfiltered relief on his face to not have Zee in his car with the rest of us.

  Chapter 8

  “Well this is fabulous,” Maddie said. “Did they take all of your stuff? I’m having withdrawals from my phone and I need to gather the resources for my empire. My farms are going to fill up and I won’t get the food I need to upgrade my mines.”

  “I don’t even know what you said,” Zee snarled. She was laying on the cot in the corner of the holding cell with her ankles idly crossed. You would have thought she was watching TV in her living room with one of her
8000 cats laying on her chest. She’d been here when the rest of us arrived, and Carver had been nowhere to be seen.

  Maddie glanced over at Zee and then shook her head. There was no explaining growing resources and attacking other empires on your cellphone to Zee. Jane snorted and said, “Hank is going to rub this in forever. The good doctor arrested.”

  Her voice shook a little bit as she said, ‘forever.’ She was probably thinking she’d be lucky to have another year with her husband let alone forever. I rubbed her back as I sat on the metal bench next to her. The bench was bolted to the floor.

  “Carver didn’t even try to take my phone,” Zee said smugly.

  I pulled out my own. I had watched Jonas take Jane and Maddie’s phones. He’d glanced at me, his face had smoothed out, and he seemed to have forgotten he didn’t get mine. I didn’t correct the assumption. Besides, I was pretty sure he’d done it on purpose. Instead I burrowed between Jane and Maddie and held the phone out for a selfie. Maddie flashed a peace sign while Jane covered her eyes, I grinned cheekily into the phone. That was one for the wedding day.

  As soon as I was done, Maddie took it from me and sent it to Az with the request for food.

  “Jonas would probably give us food,” I said.

  Maddie shook her head instantly, “I don’t want a tuna sandwich from the vending machine, I want pie. Jail calls for pie.”

  “You better tell him that then,” I told her. “Az is a man who delivers loaded triple club sandwiches or pizza. He doesn’t understand the need for chocolate.”

  “Pie!” Maddie demanded.

  “Chocolate pie,” I said idly.

  I took my phone back before Maddie could take over the games. I shot Az directions for the kind of food we wanted. This bench couldn’t be more uncomfortable, so I wanted a pillow, a room spray, and a blanket.

  “Do you think you’re learning the lesson Simon wanted you to learn?” Maddie asked me when she saw my requests.

  “Simon wouldn’t have put me in here. This is all Carver,” I told her. “And Zee isn’t learning a lesson. They’re playing their weird couple games.”